The Impact of CBT in My Wife’s Recovery

My wife just recently graduated from her CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) sessions. Unlike previously wherein her therapist schedules her at least once a month, Mela (my wife) can now just plan whenever she feels like she needs it. Her therapist has assessed that she has already grasped the correct mindset and attitude in dealing with depression and anxiety. Personally, I have seen the impact of CBT in her daily life. There were significant changes in her reaction to mental health triggers.

What is CBT?

First of all, I do not claim that I am an expert in this field. I never experienced it first hand since this is only a patient to therapist activity. I have just been a recipient of stories my wife has been telling me about her experience while having a CBT session. My understanding about the therapy was through her accounts and my research about its concepts. Later, I will contribute more to the observations I made regarding my wife’s progress through the course of her set of CBT sessions. For those that are not yet familiar with CBT, let me tell you a quick rundown on it.

As what PsychCentral has described it:

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem-solving. Its goal is to change patterns of thinking or behavior that are behind people’s difficulties, and so change the way they feel.

CBT is a type of psychotherapy which focuses not only on equipping the cognitive or thinking side with coping skills but also on the behavioral part of each person. CBT was initially intended for depression. Over the course of time, it has proven to be a useful tool in helping people cope as well with anxiety, eating disorders, and other cognitive and behavioral issues. It usually takes 5-20 visits to complete the CBT sessions with each session lasting 30 to 60 minutes. The duration will depend on your progress and how you apply the skills and knowledge provided in every course.

 

No Progress from Her Previous Therapy, a Change of Strategy Is Needed

A particular note on the keyword ‘short-term,’ because my wife had a set of psychotherapies as well before her doctor has recommended CBT. That original psychotherapy was the classic ‘talk-therapy’ wherein my wife talks about her issues while the psychiatrist listens. There were sessions that she would cry for a majority of the time in front of the therapist. After the therapy, she had to pay an amount multiple times of what she pays for her CBT sessions. There was no goal after each session. I think the premise was my wife should feel better due to expressing these feelings by words.

How CBT Came into the Picture

After multiple sessions, Mela didn’t feel that the traditional type of psychotherapy helped her a lot. I am not saying that conventional psychotherapy does not work or is not useful per se. I’m just saying that each therapy has its own set of patients which it will be efficient and there are those that are on the contrary. I guess my wife fell on the latter side. One issue also may be that the therapist-patient connection didn’t click. It was probably because the therapist-patient age gap was too significant.

Since the traditional psychotherapy didn’t help her, she asked for new recommendations from her doctor. The doctor recommended her to try CBT. My wife also added that maybe she needs a therapist that she can relate better. Good thing that the doctor’s new recommended therapist was the same generation as my wife.

The Impact of CBT in My Wife

From their first session which was primarily introduction and discussion of treatment approach, you can see the difference of CBT in attacking the issues. There were visualizations and relaxation techniques taught which my wife can already use even if she’s not with her therapist. I could feel the excitement of my wife whenever it’s ‘therapy day.’

 

Through the course of the sessions, there were also take-home challenges in between sessions. These challenges equip my wife to help herself more to get used to concepts taught to her. These are not required, but instead, suggestions that can help her recover faster. Based on data gathered by CBT practitioners, people who follow and execute these take-home challenges improve quicker and has better results for each session. Part of the tools that her therapist has recommended was to start a daily journal, read and fill up a workbook, and start doing meditation.

Starting a Journal

As suggested by her therapist, my wife has begun to, as much possible, create a daily journal. I didn’t get the reason behind this suggestion at the start. Through research, I realized how vital starting a journal is in her recovery.

Writing down your thoughts and feelings may seem like a simple act. But one significant impact of CBT via writing journals is seeing your thoughts and feelings from a third-person perspective. It helps to get to know yourself better. Reading what you have written creates an awareness of your thought patterns which can help you identify any of the ones that lead to more profound negative emotions and feelings. One of the usual models that CBT practitioners see with people with depression is the way they overly criticize themselves. Reading your thoughts on paper gives your mind a certain detachment to it and provides a fairer criticism of the situation. Once identified, the patient can use other CBT techniques to stop the thought pattern and prevent the ‘downward spiral.’

The Gratitude List

One other part of the journal is providing a ‘gratitude list.’ Gratitude is one of those qualities that give sparks of joy or happiness. Having a gratitude list helps in forcing the person to see that every day has something thankful to offer. These small things add up to significant results in their recovery.

Filling Up a Workbook

Part of the therapist’s take-home tasks was to read and fill up a workbook. I was able to read the book and, it contained tips and lessons on mindfulness and acceptance. These are activities that help the person with a mental health condition to have a more comfortable take whenever attacks take place.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a practice that helps a person be more attuned to the present. It’s a planned activity which you try to recognize everything that you are experiencing at the present moment without judgment. Mindfulness means trying to focus on a particular aspect of the present like your thoughts, feelings, or sensations and accepting them.

Mindfulness helps to change the relationship of the person with her thoughts and have breathing space between those thoughts and what is the real present scenario. Here’s a video to understand mindfulness more. It also has a simple mindfulness practice anyone can do:

Acceptance

Acceptance, on the other hand, is recognizing the situation the person with mental health condition has. It is going past the denial stage. Even those that had been to the rough end of relationships can relate to this. They say that acceptance is the first stage of recovery or of moving on.

Meditation

Meditation for people with depression or anxiety is a way to practice mindfulness. It also helps to flex the brain on focusing on different thoughts and feelings as well as helping them to focus on other current experiences instead of the negative thoughts.

Curiosity Made Me Also a Practitioner

I had the interest of looking at why Mela’s therapist suggested her to practice meditation. Through research, I have also found the significant effects of meditation in repairing damage to the neurotransmitters and creating new passageways for the brain’s better well-being. Meditation results in better focus, more creativity, and more compassion among other things. I tried doing it, and I was hooked. It was a simple 10-minute activity that has a significant impact on everyone in the long term.

Meditation has also helped me in centering myself. We are usually caught up in the daily tasks, and all are urgent priorities. Meditation has given the clarity I need in making day-to-day decisions. It has also been a factor why resigning from work has been less complicated because it was clear to me what my priorities are.

Meditation Is Not About Thinking Nothing

There are also preconceived ideas that meditation’s goal is to think about nothing or to feel nothing. That is further from the truth. Meditation, in the simplest way, is trying to focus on one thing (usually your breathing) or different sets of identified significant and when your mind wanders off, you go back to the thing you want to focus on.

You Don’t Need to Sit like a Monk

The figure-8 seating position has always been the poster child position for meditation practices. If you are uncomfortable with that, you have failed a critical requirement in doing a meditation session. To meditate properly, you need to be in a comfortable position. Just sitting in a chair with your back on the chair and your hands on your lap are good for starters.

The often sitting position linked to meditation. A simple sitting position with your back on a chair and with your hands on your lap is better.Here is a video debunking the most common myths on meditation:

There are also guided meditations available all throughout the internet, and they usually start with focusing on your breathing. My personal favorite is Headspace which also has a 10-day free trial which is a beginner course in meditation. You’ll get the proper way to meditate and what is the mindset needed during meditation.

The Impact of CBT Has Been Better Due to Other Factors

My wife has improved a lot partly because of her CBT Sessions. In the web of all things we’ve tried for her recovery, CBT is a part of the big changes that contributed to her better well-being. We do not discount the fact that she is taking medicines to lessen the frequencies of her depression and anxiety attacks. CBT’s most prominent contribution in all this is for her mindset and coping skills during attacks.

For others, CBT may be the only intervention they need. Some were cured with only medicines. It all depends on the severity of the depression and other mental health conditions. For my wife, which was diagnosed with double depression, the combination of the two and with other supplementing factors (for discussion on future topics) made wonders for her recovery.