Living with Depression [When You Don’t Have It]

I am currently living with depression, but I don’t have it inside me. Instead, it is my spouse or wife who is painfully carrying it every day. She’s been diagnosed with Double Depression w/ Anxiety. There was a time she’s been taking 7 different types of medicines daily. But that’s the thing with this condition, it’s not obvious from the outside.

I’ve set the issue aside as if it’s a minor one during our pre-wedding days. I didn’t see it also as a big one during the first few months of living together. Then there will come a point you’ll realize that it is a constant cycle. It is bigger than you think it was. I’m living with it because I’ve decided to not set it aside like it’s nothing. I chose to deal with the elephant in the room. I’ve chosen to become her rock as she has always been saying.

There Is No Quick Fix to Depression

But here’s the thing, it’s a complex medical condition. It’s something that no matter how you want it to go away, you have no direct control over it. No matter how happy you want your partner to be, you can only scratch the surface. You can only make her laugh, give her something to lighten up her day, and enjoy activities together. But when depression kicks in unexpectedly, it’s that bully in the playground that destroys the sand castle you and your friends built since morning. Once it’s there, you feel helpless. You just watch as your spouse is enveloped with so much negativity no words can make her feel better.

Do Not Lose Hope

You and someone close to you may share the same journey that we’re going through right now. You may feel hopeless that there’s no end to it. But trust me when I say that things will get better. My wife is at a stage right now where she is leaps and bounds better when she had her worst attack. She’s now slowly easing out her meds one by one. You and your loved one will have the same breakthrough with the right combination of meds, therapy, and support.

You Can Be the Difference

I believe I have been a contributor to the improvement my wife has undergone through her journey to full recovery. She has always said that I have been her constant rock whenever she’s dealing with her illness.

I decided to start this blog because I hope I can contribute as well to helping companions of those dealing with mental health conditions be better equipped in dealing with and understanding the sickness. Being that rock needs to be firmly planted on the ground as well. If you’re not careful, you might end up riding the waves of depression yourself. Being that rock takes a lot of fortitude so you need to equip yourself with understanding and knowledge about the sickness.

I’m a guy that doesn’t like to treat problems sitting down. My attitude towards things is that everything can be learned. And so I engrossed myself knowing about the sickness and what is the role of a companion in a depressed person’s recovery. I read tons of books and articles and acquired knowledge to better equip me in being an enabler to her recovery. If ever there is only one book that I can recommend for those who want to be a better companion, it would be this book. I even researched for alternate ways to help her in her recovery and I believe some of the alternate treatments had worked and made an impact on her as well.

We’re in This Together

This blog is different in a sense that I haven’t seen enough help online addressed to the companions of people with mental health disorders. The articles I usually see online are those addressed to the people with the illness themselves. But based on my experience, me sending articles to my wife doesn’t usually come through. She doesn’t do the recommendations in the said article. People with depression wants to be healed as well but their motivation to help themselves is so low that they don’t read them. Sometimes they are just too preoccupied with their battles inside.

I am offering a source of information for people who want to be better at helping their loved ones undergoing mental illnesses. This information may be from my personal experience or from experts’ advise. I am offering a space as well for people to be inspired by different stories of those who have broken from the chains of mental illness and what contributed to their recovery. Everyone’s welcome here even if just for curiosity or you want to elevate the discussion. We need to remove the stigma because just like any body part, the brain gets sick at times.

In my next blog, I will start with our story. How did her depression surface and how was life for the both of us living with depression?

Which topics do you want to be tackled next? Hit the comments below!